it all happened ante meridiem

fuck the day
and its obligation
i am awake, aware, pulsating
but never prepared
whatever the daylight
gives me I’m forced to take
and live with after

daytime makes
blood spill out of
mama’s mouth
now we’re related to

the aftermath of  
its mixing with
tissue paper and toilet water

during nightfall,
at least I can blame it all
on my unconsciousness
the lilting hum of the heater

but this time,
i am told that i
should know better than
​my sprawled self

in my dreams,
i would have never gone
to his house
that metal table
that kitchen cabinet

Dena Igusti is an Indonesian-Muslim poet who survives off of dollar pizzas and Tropical Fantasy sodas in Queens, New York. She is currently the co-founder of Short Line!, an organization dedicated to connecting artists to their communities, to each other, to resources, and to themselves. She is a 2018 NYC Youth Poet Laureate Ambassador, and 2017 Urban Word Federal Hall Fellow. Her work has been featured in Thread, Quail Bell Magazine, Teen Vogue, and the production In Full Color.