it all happened ante meridiem
fuck the day
and its obligation
i am awake, aware, pulsating
but never prepared
whatever the daylight
gives me I’m forced to take
and live with after
daytime makes
blood spill out of
mama’s mouth
now we’re related to
the aftermath of
its mixing with
tissue paper and toilet water
during nightfall,
at least I can blame it all
on my unconsciousness
the lilting hum of the heater
but this time,
i am told that i
should know better than
my sprawled self
in my dreams,
i would have never gone
to his house
that metal table
that kitchen cabinet
fuck the day
and its obligation
i am awake, aware, pulsating
but never prepared
whatever the daylight
gives me I’m forced to take
and live with after
daytime makes
blood spill out of
mama’s mouth
now we’re related to
the aftermath of
its mixing with
tissue paper and toilet water
during nightfall,
at least I can blame it all
on my unconsciousness
the lilting hum of the heater
but this time,
i am told that i
should know better than
my sprawled self
in my dreams,
i would have never gone
to his house
that metal table
that kitchen cabinet
Dena Igusti (they/he) is an Indonesian-Muslim poet who survives off of dollar pizzas and Tropical Fantasy sodas in Queens, New York. They are the author of CUT WOMAN (Game Over Books). They are currently the co-founder of Short Line!, an organization dedicated to connecting artists to their communities, to each other, to resources, and to themselves. They are a 2018 NYC Youth Poet Laureate Ambassador, and 2017 Urban Word Federal Hall Fellow. Their work has been featured in Thread, Quail Bell Magazine, Teen Vogue, and the production In Full Color.
